im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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