I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
