Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
