Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
