the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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