If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
