your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
