Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
