My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
