He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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