VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
