If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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