I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
