I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
