just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
