I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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