Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
