i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
