I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
