Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
