Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
