um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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