I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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