oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
