I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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