Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
why does every cop we meet know your name?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
