You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
