Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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