alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
