apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
