She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
