You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
