Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
she woke up with a sticky ear
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize