Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
