He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
