Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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