No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
