last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
