i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
