Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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