i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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