Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
