How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
