dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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