i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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