My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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