i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just want to make out with him forever
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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