Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize