Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
