So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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