The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
