Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
