The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
