Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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