I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize