bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
