I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
