So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
