i can't believe i had my finger in that
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
