Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize