I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
