Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
