How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
