OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
