I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize