If i come over, it means nothing
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
