Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Shame - the story of my life.
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